For me, working more looks a little like this:
Register for four graduate level courses in a single semester.
Accept a position as a long-term substitute at work; teach five English courses.
Push out twenty-eight new episodes of my livestream chat show, Drop a Line.
Participate in the building of the One True Promotion Website.
Make a commitment to daily housekeeping.
Make a commitment to daily exercise and fitness (also nutrition).
Participate in house-hunting.
Make a commitment to read all the books I have collected from a series of talented colleagues.
Wowie! I get tired just reading that! And that’s how life has been for me since I was blessed to meet my lovely wife and we made the decision to get married. Moving in together happened. School and new opportunities happened. Proactiveness and commitment had to happen in order to get enough things done. And whenever this type of season happens, my tendency has been to slow down writing. I tell myself there just isn’t enough time in the day or I’m too tired. Looking at all you have to do as a teacher and a graduate student (not to mention a husband and co-housekeeper) I tell myself that rest is important, sometimes the most important thing I can do after a long day. Now, this post isn’t too disprove that. Rest is important. In fact, I just had a month-long season of rest that was sorely needed, and I’m not ashamed of having had it, nor should anyone else be. When we are kind to our minds and our bodies, we become refreshed enough to take on many of the challenges I listed above. However, in the pursuit of more work (which brings in more money) and more rest (which makes me feel better about going to work and school) writing has often been treated as this nagging thing that just needs to wait until I have more time. It’s always been working more; writing less. Conversely, writing more; working less, which can have some ramifications (nobody likes a dusty, spider crawling house!)
Recently, however, something changed.
After a long season of writing the book of my dreams, an action-packed fantasy superhero novel, with tremendous help and mentoring from my dear wife and co-writer (and about four or five full rewrites) on top of two finished books in another series, I’ve discovered something that was previously missing from my life: rhythm.
Writing, now that I feel I’m getting the hang of it, that I’m becoming the writer I’ve always dreamed of being, is becoming rhythmic. It’s saving some energy at the beginning or end of each day to write any satisfying amount of words. It’s going over line after line and loving line after line enough to find the perfect phraseology. It’s stringing together words that may still need much improvement, but no longer look atrociousand invalidating to me, as a writer. Writing, now that I’m getting the hang of it, is becoming something that no longer consumes my energy, but that gives me energy. It’s something I look forward to after a long work day just as much as I look forward to rest.
Now, this isn’t always doable. Sometimes we can’t avoid exhausting ourselves to the point of sleepwalking through the rest of our day. But I am blessed to report that coming home from classes, closing wmy next opportunity to dream words and fix words that are already there. It’s totally a mindset thing. I feel like a legitimate author now. I’m not afraid of it. I don’t try to avoid it because it still brings out insecurities. It challenges me in a way that leaves me excited to keep improving. Honestly, I think that getting married is a major step in this process. Making such a major life change can be scary, but once made, what you learn is that you can do something that radical with your life. You can make major changes you thought you would never make, work harder than you ever thought you would work, and take opportunities that a few years ago might have sounded like cards you pull in Cards Against Humanity: Here is the $6000 worth of tuition. Here is the $500 worth of textbooks. And here is the _______
Answer: $9000 worth of car repairs, so you can get to work and to campus!
All of this informs the writing process. In my past, I told myself what I could not do or what I wasn’t ready to do. I didn’t have good daily writing habits because writing, to me, was a mountain I didn’t know how to climb. I knew that practice would make perfect, but what if I didn’t know how to practice? What if I didn’t know what kind of writing or reading would push me towards my goals? This convinced me that writing was something I could only figure out when I was well rested, had a lot of free time, and could commit all of my attention to it, with no distractions whatsoever. But now, with these major life changes, I’ve learned that the busier I get, the more practiced I am at what I’m doing. Dead tired? Sure. But getting more talented and more competent by the day.
Now, my writing process looks a lot like working harder and faster so that I can get to that free moment where I can pick up the pen on the last page I bookmarked and start turning messy, confusing words into concise phrases that convey a clear vision. Now that I have that, I have confidence. I actually like looking over my poorly described thoughts and tightening them up before dinner with my wife. If I don’t touch the book for the rest of the day, I’m glad to have the option of doing so tomorrow.
So, not too long ago, some friends asked me about a goal for this upcoming year, a year that is already promising to be more chaotic than what I described above. My answer came to me immediately, but that wasn’t all. I also felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I felt a surge of confidence before I answered, knowing that what I was about to say was 100% true. Even now, as I write this post, I am fulfilling that promise in my new weekly routine.
When work gets busier, I won’t write less. I’ll write more.
- Posted by Alec Pangia, Director of Broadcasting